18 Inch Jump South

For a couple of months I have been examining myself. I have realized that I have not had reverence towards the Lord like I need too. I have been praying out loud to the Lord and I have been looking up the attributes of the Lord. Now, granted I know the word, I understand it mentally, I am not sure it is planted in my heart. So Sunday, I was on my couch reading this bible study about Sanctification and Holiness. In the bible Study the author writes about Jesus' death on the cross. He writes,"The sinful nature which still resists God has been legally dealt with. God has no program for this sinful nature except crucifixion. He does not want to educate it, to heal it, to accept it or to love it. It must be killed, It has been killed, legally, at the cross. Our old man was crucified with him." At the moment of reading this the knowledge of this very idea jumped from my head straight to my heart. I understood it, if I am sinning continually, God does not want me to go to the website to educate myself on the sin, or look up all the books on it. He doesn't even want me to try to understand why I keep doing it. He wants me to focus on the Word of God and let the Word correct me. Not focusing on the sin, but on the Word of God. All my life I have been focusing on the wrong thing. I have been blaming this person or that person in my past, or thinking it was a generational curse or something. Trying to understand why I kept sinning in certain areas of my life. But now I totally understand why Jesus died for me, my sins are already dead, I need to repent and then not focus on it again. And in that reality, I repent and then I know that guilt and shame does not have a place in my life, because Jesus had to die and rise again for me to live. I belong 100% to Him and I believe that. I am no longer going to say that I do not have reverence for the Lord, because after Sunday I look at Him with more reverence than ever.

My Thankful Heart

Well another Thanksgiving has come upon us and has rushed away just as quickly. I really kind of dreaded this one. My mother in law had a knee replacement and my sister in law was in Iowa City. I was the only one going to make dinner. My Father in law did put in the Turkey and he did carve it and my mother in law did get up a little to make the potatoes. But I did most of the rest. I realized through this day, that I was so thankful for a lot of things. 1. I get along with my mother in law very well, she has taught me most of the cooking, besides Lori. 2. I was able to cook and learn to make the family stuffing. 3. We were together and all is well with all of us. 4. I live in a country that celebrates Thanksgiving, because some people long ago wanted to break from Tierney and worship the Lord freely. 5. Through the week I was surrounded by loving and caring sister's in Christ who love me very much. 6. I am living in a free country and I can love others freely and choose the people I want to surround my life. 7. I am blessed to Home school my children and teach them about the Lord. I could go on and on, I am blessed and I really enjoyed my Thanksgiving. I have vowed to be thankful every day and praise the Lord with all my heart. Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

A Beautiful Women

Recently, I have been reading another book for our Saturday Ladies Group. The book is Captivating, I read the first chapter and one of the questions in the workbook made me look at women in my life who have inspired me. One special women who popped into my head was my Grandmother Gussie. Grandma raised ten children by herself. My Grandfather died early and left Gussie with ten children, the oldest was sixteen and there was two sets of twins still in diapers. She worked so that she could put all seven of the boys in Gonzaga Prep, an all boy Catholic school. She was a God fearing women and she loved the Lord with all of her heart. She loved all of her 28 grandchildren and here 19 great grandchildren. She was really the glue that held the family together, she was soft spoken and she loved us very much. I hope that I could be like her. After the children all grew up, my grandmother traveled the world, she went to the Holy Lands, Spain, New york and many other places. She was such an inspiration for me. She once sat down with me and told me how she met Grandpa, she actually went on a date with another guy and double dated with her friend who was dating Grandpa. She walked away from the date realizing that she was going to marry her friends date. And later on they met again and feel in love. She was a wonderful story teller and boy could she make cookies. I will always have a place in my heart for her. I love her very much and I miss her.

Everything is Going to change?

So tonight is our sons official night at his new job. He is running around getting ready when our daughter comes down and sits next to me on our ottoman. "Everything is going to change, nothing stays the same", she replies. I looked at her and said "What do you mean?" "Luke will not have time for me." I hugged her and I reassured her that time does change, but we all have to grow up. She wanted to know why, why does everyone change? So after a small conversation she was reassured and she went in the other room. I started thinking, time does change, we change. I can not truly say that I am the same person who moved to Iowa sixteen years ago. God has really changed me, maybe it's because I wanted to change. Or maybe I needed to not hold on to things of the past that could harm my family. I am not sure, I know I am not the same person. I pray to the Lord everyday, please change my heart and let me learn something new everyday. I guess I need to give this prayer to my children and let them be more open to change from the Lord. It is how the Lord works, if we are humble and just He can work in our lives. So everything is going to change. Be ready to change!!!!

Getting Older in one Week

Well, I am now a proud mother of a sixteen years old with a job. Starting Friday of this week my son will now be in the working world. He will be working at McDonald's here in town. I am not sure who actually is getting older, our son or me? You know when you first have them you think, what do I do next? How do you take care of them and will I eventually be good at it? Then time goes by and you teach them the things that you do not want them to do and the things that you want them to learn, you even feel a little more confident in your parenting skill. Maybe the biggest reason is because you know that they are under you and nothing can hurt them. But then they turn sixteen and they start naming all these things that they want and you know that you can not afford, like a new car and PlayStation 3 etc, etc. So, you start pointing to the work world and they are now under someone else, and you so hope that you taught them what they needed to know. This is where I am today, I am so hoping that I taught him what he needed to know, I guess if you think about it, did I know everything when I got my first job? This is were the maturity starts or could crash violently. I should talk to him about being humble and being able to be teachable everyday. So, I guess having children lets me know that I am getting older, and maybe a little wiser.

P.A.R.T.Y spells HELP!!!

Well, you really do not realize how old you are until you take five kids to a huge event. This happened to DH and I, in fact as I am blogging this, DH is still out cold with exhaustion. So last night my DH and I took our sweet sixteen year old son, our dearly daughter and some of our son's friends to the pizza place in Omaha called the 'Amazing Pizza Machine". First of all it is on the other side of Omaha closest to Fremont Nebraska, so the drive was long. And when we were three street lights away from it you could see it, it is a strip mall by itself. A large lump formed in my throat and I started praying "Lord give me strength." So all the kids piled out of the van and my DH and I are giving orders and rules as we are walking into this giant warehouse of fun. We hit the lobby and I proceed to go up to the counter to confirm our reservation, as I talked to this lady, she is looking for our sweet sixteen's name on the list and they can not find it. I decided I was not going to be testy or angry but know that God is in control here. So after about ten minutes they find our son's name and this young man who is our host shows up. Bubbly young man named Patrickvand the kids really liked him from the beginning. He took our DH and all the kids to the room that we reserved, while I talk to the young gal about squaring up the bill. So, she scans the paper that all of our information is on and the card number that I used to put down the deposit is now not working for her. So, I stand there determined not to blow a gas get and let God take this over. It took three people to figure out this promblem and I just stood there and kind of chuckled. So, they figure it out and I am finishing and about to find my party, when one of the people who was trying to figure out all these hang ups hand me a little credit card with twenty dollars stamp on it. I said "what is this for?" He replied " for being so patient with us and our mistake?" So I thanked Him. Now, the credit card is what helps you pay for all the games and rides. So, I payed for six cards of ten dollars a pieces and I got a twenty dollar one for free. I thanked the Lord for this wonderful gift. and proceeded down this hall, when I hear "Hay supermom." I turn around and there is Patrick, he tells me were our room is and all the things we can do. My DH and I decide we need to let the kids eat first. We walk down this hall and into this room that is filled with buffet style tables. You could have anything you wanted. They even had a Macaroni Pizza. The kids ate all their food and we gave them their cards and they were off. They rode the go carts, bumper cars, little roller coaster, bowled, they played all kinds of video games. My darling husband and I played air hockey, I realized I am not so good at the game. But, by the end of the night my DH and I were exhausted trying to keep up with all the kids. But in reality I was really starting to like the idea of all the children. I myself came from big families. My Dad came from a family of ten and my mother came from a family of thirteen. My step-mother called me on my cell phone and I was telling my mother that I liked all these children and I wanted some more of my own. My step-mother laughed and told me more grandchildren would be great. So if you get to Omaha, go to the Amazing Pizza Machine it is pricey, but it is worth it. It may even bring out the kid in you!!!!!!

"Sweet 16"

Well it is official, as of today I am the proud mother of a sixteen year old. I can not believe the time that has swiftly passed by me. So, I have to tell you, the other night my now sixteen year old was pondering a PlayStation 3, he was so engrossed in it and was telling his grandfather how he wanted one. So, DD pipes up and says, well if you would get a job, and a driving liescence you could get it yourself. So our sixteen year old with all the wisdom in his little world, pipes up and says, I have been looking, I have been beating the pavement. Ha, ha, my DH tells our son, sitting on the couch or playing video games does not count in job hunting. So, I ask you how much more challenging will this sixteen year old become. I am not sure but I am in deep prayer for him now and every second of every hour, and all day. He has gotten really bold with DH and I, which in some ways are good and bad. He has also shown some real grown up decisions, but not enough of them to support living on his own yet. I remember when I was sixteen, I wonder if my parents felt the same way about me or worse? All of you who have teenagers understand, one moment you look at them and remember how small they were and how much they clung to you like glue. Then in one fail move they become bold and stand offish. I guess this is why we not only need to equip our children with education but also with God, they will not survive without Him. Amen

openning my heart

I am amazed at how much the Lord is doing for me. My husband wanted to start a Home Church. At first I was not support with it. But, I prayed out to God, I looked up scriptures and God gave me peace about it. Now God has been blessing us through it. I can not tell you how many meetings we have had and I have walked away looking at God with wider eyes and amazement of His word. He is opening up our eyes. So, Monday night we laid hands upon my mother in law who was going into the hospital on Wednesday to have a total knee replacement. The peace rushed upon us and we knew that Jesus was going to be over her while she was going to have this procedure done. Yesterday we all sat at the Hospital for about eight hours, this is prep time for Mother, the surgery was actually only an hour an a half. When we were finally permitted to go up to the room where she was staying and we were able to see her, she looked good. I can not even explain this, it was God. She held my hand and I said, "Mom from the moment that you told me that you were going to have this done, I have felt peace." Mom looks at me and replies"It was God, I have had peace going in to it." God directed all of this, he sent the right doctor, the right hospital and the right day, mom only had two weeks notice of this. She will be getting out of bed today and walking. She is so excited about this, and this was because of God and his word. I feel blessed, oh I could just be saying it because I am a christian and I have to say it, but I do feel blessed, I am ready to die to my flesh and let God do with me that he wants. I am ready. I am tired of fighting. Tanya